Let’s get one thing clear – there’s no such thing as ‘normal’ when it comes to your feelings! Every woman will feel differently about sex and intimacy during her pregnancy, and if you feel a certain way then 9 times out of 10 do what you want (or don’t want) to do. Some women find they become even more randy when they’re pregnant, whereas some aren’t interested at all. Whatever feels right for you, go with it. There are a few physical conditions to consider, but as far as emotion goes, there’s no right or wrong way to ‘be pregnant’.
If you want sex…
Pregnancy is a time for wildly fluctuating hormones – these may make you feel surprisingly horny! If you do, there’s no reason to stop having sex, so long as your pregnancy is normal. However, you may have to make a few changes to your sex life as your term progresses. The missionary position is likely to be difficult or impossible as your bump gets bigger – you could try lying on your side with the belly supported, or go ‘doggie style’. This means you’ve got more freedom to move and can feel more in control. Now is a good time to experiment with different positions and lots of pillows – you may need to prop up your body. Many men find pregnant women particularly erotic – enjoy the attention if your man gets suddenly horny! Also, regular sex can help prepare your pelvic muscles for a smooth birth and your hormones often mean vaginal lubrication is better than ever before.
And if you don’t…
It’s not uncommon for women to go off sex as they start to feel ‘more mother than lover’. Often, towards the later stages of pregnancy sex may become more difficult simply because of the bump getting in the way – you may prefer other forms of intimate touch than full sex. If you’re experiencing discomfort or pain you should let your partner know and try other ways to relax together. Many women enjoy massage as a way to relax and feel close to their partner – just remember that during labor you should avoid highly scented oils or lotions. Touch and physical contact is an essential part of a relationship, and just because you don’t feel like having sex doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sensual feelings.
Things to check
If yours is a ‘high risk’ pregnancy (check with your doctor or care-giver), you may be advised to avoid sex, particularly in the later stages of pregnancy. This includes a history of premature labor, miscarriage or other complications. Opinion is divided as to whether sex and orgasm can influence labor – again, check with your care-giver if you’re unsure. As far as high quality sex toys go – generally speaking using luxury vibrators externally should present no problem but is best avoided inside.